Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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