I didn't shave. On purpose
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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