my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
