They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
