i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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