1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
