One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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