im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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