when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
