he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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