Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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