I hate your face
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i drank out of a bidet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
