please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize