I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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