dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
