i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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