Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
