Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
