Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
