i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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