I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
