I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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