We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
