I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
