Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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