Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
