True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
