So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Vodka?
Forever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
