idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
