so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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