This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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