just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
