Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize