Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I lost the right to judge tonight
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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