I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize