I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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