So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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