you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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