i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday