kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.