To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.