Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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