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• (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (914): View more from New York

  I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what

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• (559): View more from California

  Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

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• (707): View more from California

  I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (904): View more from Florida

  But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Hamster emergency. Can u come in here

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.

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