I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
