This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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