i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize