oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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