In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I want her autograph on my taint
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize