dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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