He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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