I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
