He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
