Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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