Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it's great music for shaving your balls
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My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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