worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
