Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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