I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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