ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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