I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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